SPOILERS!

I WANT TO MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR: I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE IF YOU READ A POSTING AND I TELL YOU THE ENDING. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK OR SEEN THE MOVIE THAT I AM POSTING ABOUT, DO NOT READ THE POSTING. KTHNXBYE.

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Hunger Games

Firstly, this series is fantastic and if you haven't read them, I mentally beat you in the face with a hardcover copy until you do. Get with the program, you are the last person on earth who hasn't read these books. And if you say, 'Oh, I'll just watch the movie. Same thing,' I will rig the very first Hunger Games to make you a tribute.

So, there's this girl, Katniss Everdeen. She lives in District 12 and they produce coal. There are now 12 districts instead of the United States. It's a post-war future where President Snow rules with an iron fist and if you don't live in the Capitol, you are fucked. Most likely you beg for food or have no shelter or something along those lines. The fashion in the Capitol is super weird and if you've seen the movie Seneca Crane's beard is the shit. I can't resist, here is a picture of his amazing beard:
Awesome, right? And yes, that is Doctor Simon Tam from Firefly. Any-who... I get off topic. Katniss has a best friend, Gale Hawthorne. It's kind of a I-think-I-love-him-I-think-I-love-her-but-it's-super-complicated kind of relationship. He calls her Catnip, which I love. It's so cute. Gale and Katniss are fantastic hunters and it just so happens Katniss is an amazing archer. Like, she's on par with the Green Arrow. They trade their food for various other things in their district for their families. Gale supports his mother and siblings while Katniss supports her mother and sister. Katniss' father died in a tunnel cave-in when he was working in the mines, so it all fell to Katniss because her mother was a useless wreck. Every year, the districts are forced to watch this awful reality show that features two children between the ages of 12 and 18 from each district fighting to the death. When Katniss' sister Prim gets chosen for the Games, Katniss volunteers as tribute in place of Prim. The other tribute from District 12 is Peeta Mellark who later reveals on national television that he has been in love with Katniss for years. Awkward, considering you will be killing each other in a few short days. Training is cool, Peeta paints his hand like a tree, Katniss does her bow and arrow thing, everyone has a special talent. The Games begin, a bunch of teenager kill a bunch of other teenagers and it's announced that, for the first time in Hunger Games history, if a pair of tributes from the same district are the last ones standing, they both will be crowned victors. So Katniss and Peeta find each other and they hide out in a cave and they make out and Gale is really angry when he sees it. I say, get over it, Gale! Anyway, it's down to Katniss, Peeta and a guy named Cato who is a fierce warrior. These crazy huge wolf-like creatures come out of nowhere and kill Cato leaving Katniss and Peeta as victors. But the Capitol suddenly changes their mind about the whole two victors thing. Who saw that coming? So Katniss pulls out these poison berries called Nightlock that killed another tribute before. And they're all 'We're so in love, if we can't both live, we'll both die!' They pretty much tried to pull a Romeo and Juliet. So the Capitol agrees they both live. President Snow is PISSED. It was a ploy by Katniss to totally say 'In your face!' to the Capitol. And he knows it.

Definitely 5 out of 5 thumbs up. 10 out of 5.

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